May 2013
152 posts
grimelords:
Making out with a girl for the first time is the coolest thing and the second coolest thing is driving home and getting aware of all the parts of your face where she was and tasting her lip balm on your lips. The third coolest thing is outer space.
iwillincendiotheheartoutofyou:
‘All the women in Doctor Who fall in love with the Doctor’
1. No they don’t
2. Just the women?
(I’m running errands for my pregnant wife. While walking to a nearby store, I see two teenagers harassing a child that is only four or five years old. I shoo them away from the boy, and he introduces himself.)
Me: “So, where’s your mom at?”
Boy: “She’s in the store. Do you have kids?”
Me: “Not yet. We’re expecting a baby girl soon, though.”
Boy: “Well, she’s going to turn out nice, like you! So, I’m going to marry her someday!”
(I laugh, and play along while I bring him to the service desk, and wait until his mom picks him up. Six years later, my daughter comes home from school and introduces us to a friend that defended her against a bully on the playground. I didn’t recognize him, but he certainly knew who I was!)
satans-fabulous-blog:
morphingly:
brightredkettle:
are you the SAT because i’d do you for 3 hours and 45 minutes
with a ten minute break halfway through for snacks
That’s the most reasonable pick up line I’ve ever heard. You’re hired.
leftforbed:
leftforbed:
mcsnuggie:
true self control is waiting until the movie starts to eat your popcorn
why would the movie eat my popcorn
nevermind i get it
Interrogate meh
01: tell me the truth, what made you start liking the person you like right now?
02: what on your body is hurting or bothering you?
03: what was your last thought before going to bed last night?
04: what are you listening to?
05: what’s something you’re not looking forward to?
06: where do you think your best friend is right now?
07: have you kissed anybody in the last five days?
08: favorite song ?
09: kiss on the first date?
10: is there one person you want to be with right now?
11: are you seriously happy with where you are in life?
12: is there something you would like to say to someone?
13: what are three things you did today?
14: would you rather sleep at a friend’s or have them over?
15: what is your favorite kind of gum?
16: are you friends with any of your ex boyfriends/ girlfriends?
17: what is on your wrists right now?
18: ever liked someone you thought you didn’t stand a chance with?
19: does anyone have strong feelings for you?
20: are you slowly drifting away from someone?
21: have you ever wasted your time on someone?
22: can you do the alphabet in sign language?
23: how have you felt today?
24: you receive £60 without any reason, what do you spend it on?
25: what is wrong with you right now?
26: is there anyone you’re really disappointed in?
27: would you rather have starbucks or jamba juice right now?
28: why aren’t you in ‘love’ with your last ex anymore?
29: how late did you stay up last night and why?
30: when was the last time you talked to one of your best friends?
31: what were you doing an hour ago?
32: what are you looking forward to in the next month?
33: are you wearing jeans right now?
34: are you a patient person?
35: do you think you can last in a relationship for three months?
36: favorite color?
37: did you have a dream last night?
38: are you wearing jeans, shorts, sweatpants, or pajama pants?
39: if someone could be cuddling you right now, who would you want it to be?
40: do you love anyone who is not related to you?
41: if someone liked you right now, would you want them to tell you?
42: do you like meeting new people?
43: are you afraid of falling in love?
44: ever self-harmed or starved yourself?
45: has anyone ever told you that you have pretty eyes?
46: have you ever felt like you weren’t good enough?
sunshineface0014:
assbutt-in-the-garrison:
I need my glasses to find my glasses do you see my problem
You can’t even see your problem
smilebeforedawn:
z1c:
being 20+ on tumblr
this is the most accurate thing i have ever seen on tumblr.
This is what Yahoo paid $1.3 Billion for.
castielofasgard:
roughrimjob:
beggin for the d like
4 tags
Follow me on instagram!
carolynasmus :)
hawkeyedriza:
absolutelydestinysmood:
nannajane:
in 7 years its going to be the 20s again so we can bring back swing music and the aesthetics of that era but keep modern values who’s with me
you can’t repeat the past
can’t repeat the past? why, of course you can! of course you can.
yourbones:
somegirlnamedkaitlyn:
My dog understands the word “No,” so how are you going to tell me teenage boys don’t know the difference between rape and consent?
Nailed it.
americanonline:
americanonline:
look at how frickin content this snail is with his little stick
i think we all need to calm down and look at this snail again
norsegays:
tltty:
where do people even find dealers like you can’t just ask people in class like hey are you selling marijuana
you obviously never went to public high school
if you start talking to me everyday and night, i’m obviously gonna get attached to you. even if i never planned to in the first place, i will. so before you start getting close to me, make sure that you won’t just suddenly leave me. cause you know, that happens to me a lot.
this basically describes my life.
amaeza:
untruc:
amaeza:
you know, i’m a raging lesbian and i was never distracted by what other girls in my classes were wearing in high school. this is a male problem, not an “attracted to women” problem.
This is an “inability to respect women” problem.
Which is a male problem.
smilingemoticon:
laperspective:
I loved The Great Gatsby before it was trendy…
Me: * sees book store * *looks to friend* *shuffles towards bookstore*
Friend: no.
